How To Keep Financial Worries From Derailing Your Marriage
Financial security isn't just about numbers—it's about trust and communication.
Yesterday, I was rocked. I had just come home from training when I noticed my wife, Amy, looking stressed. We sat down to chat, and she shared her worries about our future—about our finances and how we would support a family.
My first thought was, "What do you mean? We have an investment property, plenty of crypto, and good savings. How could you be worried about our finances?"
But instead of jumping in, I decided to listen. As Amy continued to talk, I had a realisation that hit me like a ton of bricks: Amy didn't feel financially secure in our marriage.
This realisation hurt. Financial security is something I’ve always aimed to provide. I've taken on that role willingly—I work hard, and I’m careful with how I manage our money. And yet, it still isn’t enough. Have I failed?
I spent some time reflecting on this before writing this newsletter, and I want to share my thoughts and perspective with you.
Every relationship is different, but in ours, I’ve chosen to take responsibility for ensuring Amy feels financially secure. For me, this means making sure she knows our family will be taken care of. But the real issue wasn’t money—it was communication.
Did you know that 46% of people don’t talk about money with their partners? And money arguments are the second leading cause of divorce.
Within our community, relationship breakdown is a big reason why men often join our Strong Men of Value Academy.
After much thought, I came up with one main question that I believe is important to answer:
What can I do to prevent finances from impacting my marriage?
Like most things, the process goes: Awareness, Acceptance, Plan, Take Action.
Awareness: How do I become aware that finances are impacting my marriage? For me, it’s recognising when my wife is stressed. We’ve worked hard on building strong, honest communication over the years. If I ask what's wrong, she will usually talk to me about it.
Acceptance: I need to accept how she feels and seek to understand what needs to happen to change that. What can my role be in the solution? As men, we often try to find a logical solution, like earning more money—but that’s not always the answer.
Plan: Financial security is more than just numbers in a bank account. Often, it’s about having a plan for the future and ensuring that both partners are part of the financial conversation. No one likes being kept in the dark.
Take Action: I realised I had unintentionally kept Amy in the dark about our business finances. I didn’t think she’d care—but I’m going to test sharing this with her the next time we talk about money.
A lot of stress comes from fear of the unknown or uncertainty. If you can manage that, you can minimise stress.
Why do both parties need to be in the loop with finances?
Well, I can't give you a definite answer, but the data around divorce rates due to finances suggests it's pretty important to discuss and build together.
A marriage is a partnership—meaning you’re a team. You won’t win a team sport working by yourself.
So, what steps can you take today to improve financial security in your marriage?
Talk about finances regularly: We did this for a period of time but have dropped the ball recently. It's easy to stop doing the things that work when you feel things are going well. I’ll be looking to bring this back at least every second week as a dinner conversation. Personally, I’d love to talk about how our investments are going, how my business is doing, and what we have coming up. It doesn’t need to be a super long conversation—just making sure we are both on the same page.
Share financial priorities: I used to think the more money we earned, the better. But financial security isn’t just about wealth—it’s about sharing financial priorities. Rather than just earning money to be wealthy, you’re earning money to support a family. This emotional link is crucial.
Create a financial plan together: Discuss what needs to happen for both of you to feel financially secure. It could be planning for the future, aiming for a specific income, limiting debt, or simply knowing that someone is managing the finances.
I believe money meetings will amplify your marriage. They show that you are invested in the wellbeing and future of your family. Having regular meetings will keep your finger on the pulse. As they say, what you track, you can improve.
I choose to take this responsibility because I care about my financial future, and more importantly, I care about my wife and family.
What will you do to start improving the financial security of your family? Start today—schedule your first money meeting and take that crucial first step.
Thanks for reading.
A huge reason I love the Strong Men of Value academy is because experiences like this are shared from all our members. Being able to learn from men from all walks of life puts you in a powerful position to build a great life.
Personal Progress 8th August - 15th August 🤯
What Happened ✅:
Personal: Landed back in Usa. Ready to launch "Life Design Blueprint"
Running: Ran 2 marathons in 2 days (total of 112 km in 4 days)
Marriage: Had a tough money conversation with Amy
Strong Men of Value Academy: New intake opens soon
What's Coming Up 📅:
Podcast: Interview experts who can help me prepare for the 58-2-58
Strong Men of Value Academy: New intake kicks off October 1st. (apply here) Great for men wanting focus and accountability.
Tour: Touring the East Coast of America with my wife's band "Sheppard"