You achieve all your goals.. So now what?
Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." — Sydney J. Harris
Does living a life of regret scare you? Regret is a profound emotion that touches nearly every facet of our lives, guiding our choices across careers, education, finance, relationships, and health.
Consider this: 41% of professionals worldwide harbour regrets about their career paths, with many wishing they had taken the plunge earlier, according to LinkedIn. Similarly, a Gallup poll shows that over half of Australians would redo key educational choices, and a Bankrate study reveals that 73% lament their financial decisions, particularly the lack of foresight in retirement planning.
On a personal note, about 18% of older adults report their biggest regrets stem from romantic relationships, as highlighted by a survey from the American Psychological Association. Health-wise, the CDC points to regrets over lifestyle choices like smoking and poor diet that impact long-term health. These statistics aren't just numbers—they're a mirror reflecting the significant, sometimes harsh, lessons of our choices. Yet, in every regret lies a lesson in making more informed, conscious decisions that pave the way for growth and better outcomes.
I found myself in a place where the fear of regretting decisions had more influence over what I did than living life itself. Every year, time seems to accelerate; a week now feels like just a day. I believe it's because the older I get, the more responsibilities I take on, and I tend to recognise time more than I did when I was younger.
I said goodbye to playing rugby at 23 years old, I've said goodbye to friends, and I have said goodbye to dreams. I don't believe it is possible to die without regret, but do we have more control over the regrets we live with?
I know I am not alone when I say I experience regret. Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, wrote a book on the topic, 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying'. She compiled insights into the most common regrets of the dying. Among the top were wishing they hadn’t worked so hard, wishing they had the courage to express their feelings, and wishing they had let themselves be happier.
When I was reading this, I could resonate with the regrets. I work hard, struggle to express my feelings, and don't allow myself to truly be happier… I convinced myself "I will be happy when…"
But it's got me thinking. If regret is inevitable, what can I do to make sure when my time is up I am not regretting WHAT I DIDN'T DO?
Society is hurting right now. People are unhealthy, living week to week, lonely, and unhappy. A personal goal is to make sure I don't end up in this position. A professional goal is to make sure others don't.
Think about it. Successful people hire mentors and coaches to guide them for better results… so why wouldn't we listen to the studies of those who are on death's door to inform us on how to live a better quality of life?
My goal in this newsletter is to empower you to build a great life's resume, enjoy the journey to your desired outcomes & to document the journey.
Life is to short
"Your time is limited, don't waste it living someone else's life." — Steve Jobs
A principle I’ve embraced to avoid future regret about what I didn't do is crafting my life's resume—also known as ticking off my bucket list. This isn’t just any list; it’s a personal catalogue of dreams and milestones aimed to enrich this journey we call life. It's about embracing experiences that resonate deeply with your spirit, ensuring you live fully and create a tapestry of memories without regrets.
The concept really clicked for me after learning about Jesse Itzler's approach to building a 'life's resume'. He suggests marking something off your bucket list every two months, adding up to six new experiences annually. It’s a straightforward yet profound strategy. Inspired by Jesse, and after chatting with Seb Terry, who champions the "100 things" philosophy, I’ve been actively pursuing my list.
You don't have to stick rigidly to the two-month rule—I find aiming for at least every quarter is more feasible. And remember, not every item needs to be as monumental as attending a FIFA World Cup Final.
I categorise my goals into three zones to keep the momentum going:
Zone 1: Pinnacle Pursuits—These are the epic quests like witnessing the World Cup or experiencing the Northern Lights. They're dreams that demand significant effort and a bit of fortune but offer unforgettable memories.
Zone 2: Meaningful Milestones—These are substantial yet attainable goals like running a marathon in a historic city or learning a new language, pushing your limits while being within reach.
Zone 3: Everyday Escapades—These are simpler joys like surfing at Burleigh Heads or mastering Italian cooking, focusing on life’s daily pleasures.
Set up in my reminders on iphone
This structure eliminates excuses and encourages action. Here’s a glimpse into my current challenge: running a marathon in every state of the USA. It’s not just about the physical challenge—it’s about exploring diverse landscapes and cultures, and yes, it’s as exhilarating as it sounds!
Start crafting your own life's resume. What’s the first experience you’ll chase? What's a pinnacle pursuit you have? A meaningful milestone & an everyday escapade?
You will always hear me talk about planning because if it's not written down with a deadline, it will never get done. You are in control of your lifes resume. Act on it.
If you want support with this. I'll be teaching this in the Focus Success System - Join the waitlist
Learn from others regrets
In our rapidly advancing society, life seems increasingly complex. Unlike centuries ago, when the primary focuses were protection, provision, and procreation, today we're often swamped with building social followings, chasing relentless self-improvement, nurturing families, and seeking global adventures. It's crucial to recognise that our motivation to engage in these activities stems not from the activities themselves but from what we believe they will provide us—fulfilment, security, recognition.
To live a good life, I champion simplicity. This means reducing our desires to their most basic 'why'—understanding deeply what we aim to achieve through our pursuits and what they truly mean to us.
I firmly believe in the wisdom of learning from those who have gone before us. The old saying, 'learn from your elders,' resonates profoundly when considering the universal regrets highlighted in the 'Top 5 regrets of the dying'. The recurring themes across various lives made me reflect—if these regrets are so common, they must hold essential truths about human desires and missteps.
So, what can I do to sidestep these common regrets? I focus on prioritising genuine relationships and personal well-being over societal expectations. By actively choosing experiences and goals that align with my deepest values, I aim to forge a path that, hopefully, leads to fewer regrets. What choices are you making today to ensure you don't harbour similar regrets?
One of my personal challenges was the difficulty in expressing my feelings, particularly in telling my loved ones how much they mean to me. For years, I struggled to say 'I love you' to my family. It was something I just didn't grow up doing. With encouragement from my wife, I finally broke through this barrier. The relief and deep connection that followed were transformative. This breakthrough was a practical step in living a life without regrets, particularly the regret of not having expressed my feelings.
I've built my career around these choices, rather than letting my career dictate my life. One of the biggest realisations has been that in today's world, we can arrange our work around our lives. It takes effort, but it's achievable, especially if you find something you love and build a community around it. This is the foundation of the Focus Success System, which I'll be teaching soon. It's about identifying viable options for building a 'BE YOU Business'—a business that aligns with who you are and what you value.
The reason I'm talking about this more now is that it has profoundly changed my life. Having worked for myself for 10 years, I get to travel, do what I love with people I cherish, and impact others' lives in meaningful ways.
Document the journey
If you’re hesitant about documenting your life’s milestones, consider this: while a bucket list propels us towards new experiences, documenting these achievements serves as a mirror reflecting our journey. I like to call this the reverse bucket list—a repository of all the remarkable things you’ve accomplished, providing a source for reflection and gratitude.
Life is full of changing seasons. What we can do today might not be possible in the future due to shifts in our health, financial status, or family responsibilities. Keeping a documented record allows us to revisit these memories, appreciate our past adventures, and maintain a sense of continuity and identity through all of life’s transitions.
Documenting isn’t just about preserving memories; it’s an active practice of gratitude. By recording our experiences, we not only cherish them more deeply but also create a legacy of accomplishments that can inspire and inform future generations.
At times, I struggle to document because my life seems mundane—routine can easily take over. Recognising this is a cue for me to inject some spontaneity into my days. Documenting these moments reminds us that life isn’t just about the routine; it’s about the unexpected joys and the spontaneous adventures. Over the years, I’ve documented my 12-week journey to a 10km time trial, my travels across the USA, and the process of building my business—all of which show the ups and downs of my life and are something I can watch back on in the future.
When it comes to documenting, there are many ways to do it. Choose what works best for you—whether it’s journaling, taking photos, capturing videos, or even vlogging. Each method offers a unique lens through which to view and remember your life’s journey. Personally, I’ve chosen podcasting and vlogging because I love the idea of my children being able to watch/listen to aspects of my life if they choose to do so. This method not only preserves my memories but also connects me to future generations, and it’s always good to remind myself of how far I have come.
In making a habit of documenting, consider setting aside a few minutes each day or week to reflect and record. This small investment of time can pay huge dividends in how you perceive and remember the tapestry of your life. After all, what do you have to lose? Stepping into new habits, like documenting your life, may feel uncomfortable at first, but embracing this discomfort can transform it into a powerful tool for personal growth. Don’t wait for ‘someday’—start today, and build a legacy of memories that won’t just live with you but will live on after you.
These three points I've explored have reshaped the way I live, moving me away from a life that waits for weekends and holidays to one full of intentional, fulfilling activities. It's clear that extraordinary changes aren't required to escape the grind—simple, steady steps can lead to significant transformations.
If I could offer a plan to my younger self, it would be:
Build your bucket list: Clearly define what experiences and achievements you want to pursue.
Assess your needs: Determine the resources—money, health, social connections—needed to achieve these goals.
Tick off one item every quarter: Commit to consistent, measurable progress.
Document the journey: Keep a visual or written record to capture these experiences.
Life is defined not just by what we do but how we feel about our actions. Whether you're looking to overhaul your life or simply enrich it further, these strategies are proven to make a meaningful difference. I’m excited to offer more in-depth guidance in my upcoming Focus Success System. Join the waitlist today to transform your approach to life and ensure you’re living without regrets.
Thank you for joining me this week. I hope you’ve found this as valuable as I have found it rewarding to share. Until next week, start taking the steps that will add depth and joy to your personal life story.
Cheers
Lachlan Stuart
Personal Progress 11th July - 18th July 🤯
What Happened ✅:
Personal: Visited San Francisco for 48 hours
Running: 30km for the week
Focus Success System: - Waitlist Open
What's Coming Up 📅:
Podcast: Episode with Sawyer Hannay
Travel: Heading back to Australia for 10 days.
Guitar: Learning 'I had some help"